He Thinks That His Parents Apostatized
Fatwa No: 388072

  • Fatwa Date:10-12-2018 - Rabee' Al-Aakhir 2, 1440
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Question

As salaamu alaykoum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu,We know that Islam obligates us to be good to our parents. Are there exceptions to this rulling? Like when your parents are murtadeen and holding on to their Kufr that takes them out of Islam. And they don't want to change, while they claim they are muslim.. Like for example they do not pray the Salaat and fasting Ramadan and say to their children not to wear Hijab etc. And when someone says to them anything about Islam that is against them or their desires, they always come with Islam saying to be good and respectfull to the parents and never say ''uuff''. They say this when they are telling them the Haqq and they don't like to hear that.. So they only use Islam when it is in their favour, but deny everything else.Does this ayaat and other similar ayaat also include the right for parents who are murtadeen?"And We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents…" [Quran 29:8 & 46:15]Is it still obligatory to treat them good? Or still their right? Not saying that we need to be bad to them, but is it still a sin of you don't. With not being ''good'' I mean to go against them when they lie about Islam, or not taking your father as a wali (which make family problems), because parents/family will still see this as bad/unrespectful treatment.And how can someone deal with those kind of parents the best way according to the shariah? Do we still need te be good to them in all affairs or some affairs? If yes which right they still have left?Djazaakum Allahu khairan.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, it is essential for you to know that ruling a Muslim to be a non-Muslim is not an easy matter. In principle, he is a Muslim until the contrary is proven.

It is for this reason that the scholars said: “Whomsoever is proven to be Muslim with certainty, then this (status) cannot be overruled except with certainty as well.

The scholars have clarified the conditions for declaring someone a Kaafir (non-Muslim) which must be taken into account, which we clarified in Fataawa 8106 and 87963, so please refer to them.

The matters that you mentioned about your parents are not enough to indicate that they have apostatized. The scholars differed in opinion about the ruling on a person who abandons the prayer out of negligence and laziness. Most of them are of the view that this does not take him out of the fold of Islam. Of course, if someone denies the prayer and does not believe that it is an obligation, then this is disbelief that takes him out of the fold of Islam, according to the agreement of the scholars. However, the truth should be clarified to him first of all (before he is ruled to be Kaafir).

To conclude, your parents are Muslims and they have their rights, among which is being dutiful and kind to them even if they are negligent. Ibn ‘Abbaas  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him said: “If any Muslim obeys Allah regarding his parents, Allah will open two gates of Paradise for him. If there is only one parent, then one gate will be opened for him. If one of them [parents] becomes angry, then Allah will not be pleased with him [the child] until that parent is pleased with him.” He (IUbn ‘Abbaas) was asked, “Even if they wronged him?” He replied: “Even if they wronged him.” [Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad]

The most that can be said about the ruling on the father who abandons the prayer, fasting, and does not enjoin Hijaab is that he is a dissolute person. Dissoluteness does not prevent him from being a guardian for his daughter. The most correct view of the jurists is that piety (opposite to dissoluteness) is not a condition in being a guardian in marrying off a girl.

The sons and daughters of these parents should endeavor to guide them, supplicate for them with goodness, and advise them in a wise and good manner.

It is not necessary that the advice comes directly from the child; rather, one can seek the help of scholars and righteous people whom he believes that they could influence them, hoping that one of them may be a reason for their guidance.

The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “If Allah guides one single man by your efforts, that will be better for you than possessing an abundant number of red camels (a very expensive breed of camels).” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

It should be noted that even if we presume that the parents are non-Muslims, then this does not deprive them from their right in receiving kind and dutiful treatment from their children. One should avoid severing ties with them or mistreating them. Allah Says (what means): {Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.} [Quran 31:14-15]

Asmaa' bint Abu Bakr As-Siddeeq  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  her said: “My mother came to visit me while she was still a polytheist, so I asked the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ): “My mother, who is ill-disposed to Islam, has come to visit me. Shall I maintain relations with her?” He  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) replied, “Yes, maintain relations with your mother”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

However, a non-Muslim cannot be the guardian of a Muslim woman in marriage. The jurists have established a rule that the difference of religion invalidates the guardianship in marrying off a girl based on the saying of Allah (which means): {And those who disbelieved are allies of one another.} [Quran 8:73]

Besides, obedience is only in what is permissible whether the father is a Muslim or a non-Muslim. There should be no obedience to a creature when it entails disobeying the Creator, as advocated in the authentic Sunnah.

For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 123554, 271255, 347518, 175989, 84942, 86982.

Allah knows best.

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